A marriage and family therapist isn’t a remote expert who sits on a pedestal and gives orders. Think of them as a well-trained guide with a flashlight who is ready to help couples and families get through the emotional weeds. Relationships today come with a lot of baggage, like old wounds, the constant noise of technology, changing expectations about roles, and busy schedules that make it hard to find time to be together. Therapists get right into these situations and meet people where they are, even if their socks don’t match. Discover more!
Most of the time, therapy doesn’t include reclining on a couch in silence. It’s more commonly a chat amongst three people who are doing something. Therapists can help with huge, visible problems, but they can also notice the little things that most of us miss. It might be a mean comment about housework, long dinners with no talking, or often glancing through your phone when you’re together. These little things can slowly ruin a relationship, but a therapist knows how to find them and talk about them.
Therapists don’t give general counsel; instead, they ask specific questions that let each person talk about their problems, disappointments, or needs that they haven’t said out loud. They help keep fights from getting out of hand and provide you the skills you need to get back on track when things don’t seem right. Sometimes, all they have to do is change the way they think about the painful periods so that they don’t hurt as much and it’s easier to go on.
Couples aren’t the only people that marriage and family therapists work with. They also look at how families as a whole get along. They help parents deal with the problems that come up when they are raising kids, like fighting with their siblings or adjusting to new stages of family life as their kids grow older or their parents take on new tasks. They help families go through tough situations like combining houses, dealing with illness, or dealing with grief and loss.
These days, relationships don’t often follow a set plan. Couples and families come with all kinds of stories, like long-distance relationships, remarriages, stepfamilies, and problems that come up because of social media or talking to one other online. Therapists know that what is “normal” for one person may not be “normal” for another. They never think that someone’s issue is too hard or too nasty to fix.
Therapy might feel like a practice space where you can try out different methods of talking, be honest about your thoughts, and get feedback without being judged. The therapist is not there to choose sides or say who is right. Their goal is to make sure that everyone feels heard, respected, and ready to develop a stronger relationship.
A lot of couples and families don’t wait for a problem to get treatment. A lot of people come in only to do maintenance, like tuning up a car, to keep the relationship strong and avoid complications. Some people come to learn how to deal with stress, while others come to celebrate the progress they’ve already achieved. Therapists help people recognize how far they’ve come and encourage them to keep working on their relationship so it can handle anything life throws at it, no matter what the cause.